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Liberal Millennials Seek Protection from Food

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Are you a snowflake? Do you retreat to safe rooms when you hear someone say that men and women have distinct biological differences? Do you fall to your knees and scream at the sky helplessly when a president is elected who CNN told you is a meanie? Do you consider moving back in with your parents a viable alternative to paying rent?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, or if you started binge watching My Little Pony cartoons in response to any of these questions, you may be a raging millennial.

This isn’t to say that all millennials are weak-willed, jelly-spined, left-wing cowards… but most seem to be exactly that. And if you think that speech or ideas are violence, then it’s time you faced the fact that you are a completely sissified chump.

To be fair, it may not be your fault. There’s a good chance that you spent more time playing video games than you did playing outside as a child. You probably had helicopter parents who never let you see an ant and rushed you to the hospital if you got a bruise. Worst of all, you were probably forbidden to engage in rough and tumble play, in which case you are severely developmentally delayed. And there’s probably nothing that can be done to fix you.

But just because you’re broken doesn’t mean we shouldn’t poke fun at you. In fact, if we don’t, how will the next generation avoid your fate?

Here’s Rebel Media on the latest millennial cringe craze: fear of touching food.

~ Liberty Video News

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